As a first-time very soon to be mother (eek!) and general worry guts about everything humanly possible, I decided that early on when I found out that I was pregnant I wouldn’t do the whole Facebook announcement thing that everyone seems to do these days, instead I would only tell close family and friends of the news as I knew as soon as everyone found out there would be a million and one questions which would most likely add to my nervousness. Obviously as time has passed and my belly has grown bigger so has the increase in questions, stories and ‘advice’ from any Tom, Dick and Harry that may cross my path….
- Person: ‘Wow you must be due soon?’ Me: ‘Hmmm, no I’m six months pregnant’ – then go home and google what other women’s belly’s look like at six months and drive my husband mad in making him compare them with me.
- Person: ‘When is the baby due?’ Me: ‘In 9 weeks time’, Person: ‘Wow you’re pretty small’ – then go home and google what other women’s belly’s look like at 31 weeks and drive my husband mad in making him compare with me.
- Person: ‘Will you be breastfeeding?’ Me: ‘Hopefully’ (Inside head thinking I’m only four months pregnant, how do I know if I will or can when the time comes and this is really none of your ****** business!)
- Person: ‘You know when you’re breastfeeding in the middle of the night, you shouldn’t make it a party or get the baby excited so they know it’s night-time’ Me: ‘Well isn’t that just common sense?’ (internally thinking, yeah I’m sure in the middle of the night I’m going to feel like having a party with a newborn baby, when all I want to do is go back to sleep you stupid *****!’
- Person: ‘Will you be having an epidural?’ Me: ‘I’m not sure yet and I’m not really keen’ Person:’Well you really should consider it, you just don’t want to feel that kind of pain!’
The list goes on..
However, what I’ve found the most surprising in this whole experience is how other mothers have asked a few questions about my pregnancy and then launch into what I can only describe as ‘horror stories’ around their own experience of pregnancy/labour/birth etc – because that’s what every first-time soon to be nervous mother wants to hear about!! Obviously I realise it can’t have been as bad (I hope!) as some of these ladies have made it out to be as most have two or even three children, however it did make me think afterwards why aren’t women being more sensitive and supportive to other women, especially first-time mothers like myself and why always start off talking about negative stories, rather than than the positives of their own experiences? It also got me wondering if I will be like this towards other pregnant women/first-time mothers after our baby is born?
I would love to hear from you on your own experiences during pregnancy, especially first-time mothers – what silly things have people said to you and has this made you more conscious on what you say to other ladies who are pregnant?